Posts Tagged ‘Bug’

One day last week, I was in the kitchen cooking dinner, The Geek was on the couch and the kids were outside playing. Suddenly, Bug comes bursting inside talking in his over excited, mile a minute voice. Due to the speed, I was only able to catch some of what he said. I gathered that there was something broken outside and that it needed someone strong to fix it. That’s when I realised what his main request was (and what he was saying as he burst in, before he explained the part about something being broken). It went a little like this:

Bug:   Mum! Call P’s mum!” mumble mumble mumble “something’s broken” mumble “someone strong needs to fix it” mumble “P is REALLY strong” *

Me: *looking confused* “Um, what?”

The Geek: “I’m here! Could I fix it?”

Bug: “No! It needs someone REALLY STRONG and P is really strong!”

Me: *looks at The Geek*

The Geek: *looks at me*

Stunned pause

Bug: *runs outside again*

Subject never heard of again. We still don’t even know what was “broken.”  Kids. They say the weirdest shit.


* This is a really rough interpretation as I can’t remember nor could I really hear all of the exact quote.

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So, this is how I see it: Scarring your kids for life is inevitable. You might as well have fun doing it, yeah? So, it is with this in mind that The Geek and I may be guilty of the following stellar moments of extreme dorkiness (in no particular order):

1)  One night at the dinner table for reasons neither of us can remember, one of us quoted Bohemian Rhapsody. Then the other quoted the next line. Before we knew it, we were singing most of the main part of the song complete with Wayne’s World-esque head banging. Bug just sat and stared at us like we’d suddenly grown an extra head each … or like we were complete dorks.

2)  Having only just turned 5, sometimes Bug doesn’t pay much attention when he dresses himself and puts his pants on backwards. When this happens, The Geek and I often sing Jump by Kris Kross (complete with jumping, of course). Again, we are met with that “you just grew an extra head and/or are total dorks” look from Bug. He’ll be very practiced at that look by the time he gets to his teens when he will permanently have it glued to his face …

3)  The Geek started a habit of singing “I’m gonna tickle little <insert child’s name here>” to the tune of Cat’s “I’m gonna eat you, little fishy”* when about to tickle one of the kids. They still don’t know that it isn’t an original song by their father.

4)  We had risotto for dinner tonight. I spent an embarrassing amount of time attempting to teach Cub (2 years old) to clap and squeal “Risotto, risotto, risotto!” in reference to The Catherine Tate Show’s Christmas special in which David Tennant plays a trendy, effeminate Ghost of Christmas Present. ** He’s almost got it … we just need to work on the hand clapping.

5)  In response to Bug’s frequent declarations that “it’s not FAIR!” I have been known to quote “Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.”***

6)  Bug tells us that he’s “bored” or that things are “boring” when it is clear that “boredom” is not actually what he means. Example: He says he’s bored with eating when he probably really means that he’s full and doesn’t want to eat anymore. In response to this, I often reply: “You say that word so much. I don’t think it means what you think it means.” ***

7)  The boys have a book about a boy and an octopus that he saves from a fisherman’s net. In the end are some facts about octopi. Octopi, it seems, have three hearts. The following exchange was quite common in our household when the book was first introduced: The Geek: “How many hearts does the Doctor have?” Bug: “Two!” The Geek: “How many hearts does an octopus have?” Bug: “Three!”

8)  Bug has a habit of saying “mummy!” in exactly the same tone and inflection as the kid from The Empty Child episode of Doctor Who. It’s freaky and even The Geek noticed it despite the fact that he is not a huge fan of Doctor Who and rarely watches it with me. We have been known to respond to Bug’s whines of “mummy!” with “Go to your room!” followed immediately by hysterical giggling. Bug, as you might have guessed, generally responds by giving us that Look I have been describing.

Now it’s your turn. Confess your dorky/nerdy parenting moments to me!

Edited to add: I should clarify that the dorky/nerdy parenting moments need not be only from the perspective of the parent. Did your parents do anything to you that made you make the face that Bug is now so practiced at? 🙂

*   If you don’t know this is from Red Dwarf then … well, what the hell are you doing reading my blog? Go educate yourself, damn it! 😉

**  Watch the clip here:

*** I’m assuming everyone recognizes The Princess Bride references here. I mean, doesn’t everyone have that movie memorized? IF you don’t then, as with Red Dwarf, what are you doing wasting time reading my blog when you could be watching The Princess Bride?

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Ok, so she’s not a band in and of herself.  She does have a band, though.  In fact, she’s had more than one as the line up’s changed a bit.  She used to be Clare Bowditch and The Feeding Set and now she’s Clare Bowditch and The New Slang.  It doesn’t matter what band she has with her, though, she is always, always nothing short of  awesome.

Aside from the fact that she makes really good music, I really look up to Clare Bowditch as a role model and as a woman.  She’s a mother of three (two of whom are twins), she’s talented, successful and despite the fame, really down to earth. She’s intelligent, socially aware and has a great sense of humour. She’s political and outspoken. Most notable (to me) was her support of women’s right to choose home birth despite the fact that she had not made that particular choice for herself. On top of all that, she puts on a fabulous live show (I’ve seen her twice now and I highly recommend going to a gig of hers whenever you can) and has very good taste in dresses.

I guess what draws me to her the most is that she’s Real. She doesn’t put on airs, she doesn’t strut or think she is the centre of the universe. She just does what she does and she pulls it off with grace and style. If only I could be so put together, confident and talented. If only I could make it look so easy (and I know it isn’t easy … not even for her).

It was hard to choose one song for this post. I decided to stick to the most current album and narrowed it down to the title track, Modern Day Addiction, or Bigger Than The Money as they are my two favourites at the moment. In the end, I chose Bigger Than The Money if only because I liked the video more.  So, enjoy and, if you liked what you heard, go look up more of her stuff or head to her website here.

I thought I would add that Clare Bowditch and the Feeding Set was one of the bands that made up Bug’s first rock concert. He was two and he had a blast. The other two bands were The Waifs and John Butler Trio. Clare Bowditch and the Feeding Set were on first and Bug and his friend danced up a storm. We have video of some of the dancing so I thought I’d be a gushing mother and post it here. I’m honestly not sure if this particular video was shot during Clare’s set or right after. It’s hard to tell as the video didn’t pick up the sound very well. However, rest assured that he and his friend were dancing just as enthusiastically throughout Clare’s set, possibly taking a bit of the spotlight off the band due to sheer cuteness. 🙂 (In case you’re wondering, Bug is in the red shirt.)

Now, the question is: Am I brave enough to tweet the link to this post to Clare Bowditch herself? Or, would that just be creepy of me?

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This week is World Breastfeeding Week. Most years, the Family Nurturing Centre in Mosman Park does something special to commemorate it. I did pregnancy yoga through both pregnancies at the Family Nurturing Centre and mother/baby yoga with Bug. Once Cub arrived, Bug was just old enough to wreak too much havoc in the centre so I didn’t really get to go to the mother/baby sessions with him. Anyway, I’m part of the community and usually go to the WBW events that they plan.

This year, they planned a train ride from Mosman Park to the city where we would convene for a friendly lunch. They called the media and the West Australian photographer planned to meet us at the city station. Despite the fact that Cub rarely feeds while we are out and about, I decided to go. When I got there, I was a little unsure as to whether I was in the mood for something so social. I did not know most of the people there and felt a little out of place. It got better, though, and soon I was enjoying myself. At the Mosman Park Train Station, Cub surprised me by asking for “moke.” So, ironically, the kid who tends not to feed in public anymore was the first to get on the boob wagon, so to speak, for the day. Of course, our picture got taken a gazillion times as everyone (but me, it seems) brought their camera. 🙂 Cub fed again on the train and more pictures were taken (namely, the one I used in this post). We got to the city and met the newspaper photographer who had us walk towards him while he laid on the floor to shoot from below. It was odd, he had us do it many times … I still don’t know if the picture made the paper.

While we were at the cafe for lunch, there was a television news camera and someone taking statements … I still don’t know if any of this made the news as I never watch television news and no one’s told me if they saw it. Apparently this whole thing was very timely as a legislation spelling out the rights of a woman to breastfeed in public is experiencing difficulties in government at the moment. Apparently the legislation is all but passed but the Liberals (Australia’s conservatives … they don’t seem to understand the meaning of the word “liberal”) are holding it up at the last minute.

Admittedly, I am not as passionate about all of this as I once was. Hell, I’m finding it difficult to be passionate about much these days but that is a different story. Now that Cub is nearly two, my breastfeeding journey is nearing it’s end. I don’t anticipate him feeding for much more than a year longer, give or take a bit. My parenting attentions are moving on to the next steps. My focus is expanding from being a full time carer of my small people to including a life outside the home and beyond breastfeeding and cloth nappies.

Having said that, though, attending this event reminded me *why* I attend these things and why I should continue to do so. When the photo at the top of this post was uploaded onto Facebook, I set it as my profile picture. I like the photo. I don’t look as horrible in it as I normally tend to in photos. Cub looks cute. It’s a nice photo … it just happens to include breastfeeding. The response I got for this photo is what really hit me. I had several people praising me for the very act of using it as my profile photo. I had forgotten how controversal a mere picture of a breastfeeding mother and child could be. Then a friend who I have not seen since before she had children (her twins are now 8 or 9) told me of the discrimination she endured as a breastfeeding mother in Alaska. She was sent to breastfeed the twins on the floor of the public toilet in Wal-Mart!

I am privileged. I have never experienced discrimination for breastfeeding my children in public. And I have done it a lot, all over Perth, on public transport and often feeding a toddler who looks “too old to breastfeed” by current uninformed mainstream attitudes. It’s stories like the one my friend told of her experience that make me do what I do. It’s why I have made it a point never to hide when my children want a breastfeed (except on the rare occasion that only a quiet room will help him focus on what he’s doing). Not that I am an exhibitionist and make a big deal of it. Quite the opposite. I simply do what I need to do for my children regardless of where we are. I try not to let the mainstream attitude get to me. I believe strongly that the more people see women breastfeeding their children, the less of an issue it will be. I won’t hide, I won’t stand for breastfeeding discrimination and I will continue to attend events like the one I did on Sunday.

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Created by rengeek on Live Journal

I think it’s already been established that I am a geek, nerd, dork, etc. Hopelessly so. My last three Facebook profile pictures alone will attest to that (the most recent of which is featured above). If you need further proof, allow me to share with you a common conversation between myself or The Geek and Bug after reading his octopus book to him:

Me: How many hearts does The Doctor have?

Bug: TWO! (holds up two fingers)

Me: How many hearts does an octopus have?

Bug: THREE! (holds up three fingers)

To be fair, The Geek taught him that one, not me. And The Geek doesn’t even like Doctor Who! Of course there is also the proud tear of happiness I always shed when Bug says he wants to dance with John Barrowman.  And, do I have to mention my TARDIS ringtone or the fact that Ten announces “Allons-y” to me every time I get a text message (Why yes, that is David Tennant in my handbag!)?

Anyway, you get the point about me being hopeless. You think it can’t get much worse, right? Wrong. Yesterday, I both crossed The Dork Line and brought Arwyn over with me. Many of you who know us on Twitter are probably thinking that that happened a loooooong time ago. But no, I’m telling you, it got worse. I convinced her to actually write a drabble of fanfic (previously we both have read FAR TOO MUCH fanfic but have never been dorky enough to actually write any) and she, in turn enabled me into CREATING A MACRO OF MY OWN.

Exhibit A: The drabble
Exhibit B: The macro

So, there you have it, people. A mutually enabling relationship + Doctor Who = insufferable dorkiness. I thought it would never go this far … yet it has. And I’m ok with that. 🙂

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It ocurred to me that some of you might be wondering how things have progressed with Cub’s speach since this post.  So, I thought I should do a brief update. He’s talking! He literally slept through the night one night (even a bit of a sleep in!), woke up and started adding words left, right and centre! He has loads of words now but out favourite is “watermelon.”

He’d been walking up to me and insisting on making this strange noise/tongue action over and over again for weeks. He’d get quite animated about it but I had no freaking clue what he was saying … until The Geek finally hit on it: he was saying “watermelon!” We think it’s pretty hilarious so we took a video of him saying it which I will post here for your viewing pleasure. Perhaps I should have put a “proud mama post” warning on this post? The only catch is that we cannot work out how to rotate the video. The Geek was trying but I think the project got permanently shunted to the “to do” list and I just really want to get this post up. So, appologies for the sideways kid … he’s still cute anyway …

And here, because I just couldn’t resist sharing the cute, is a video of both kids dancing to their favourite song, Rock The Nation by Michael Franti. Check out Cub’s backward/forward running man move! (Excuse the messy house … I have two small kids, it happens)

PS If any of you know how to rotate a video, please share the knowledge!

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Are You a Girl or a Boy?

Yesterday, I had to take Cub to the Dr as he has an ear infection (the Dr confirmed my diagnosis and provided us with the appropriate prescription). The medical centre that we go to is in a building that includes some office space. Right next door is the pharmacy and then, if you leave the pharmacy and walk around to another door in the same building, you can enter the office space area of the building. While we were waiting for the prescription, Cub wet his nappy so, after paying for the meds, I took the kids around to the office part of the building in search of a toilet or somewhere to do a nappy change. As predicted, the toilets didn’t include a baby change table. So, I used the sink to wet the cloth wipe I had and took the kids out into the lobby area. I found a little alcove that was out of the way and somewhat under a flight of stairs. It was visible from the upper floor but it suited our purposes. I laid Cub down for his change.

Next thing I know, I hear someone saying “Oh, hello” from above. There was a woman standing on the upper floor, looking down on what I was doing. What followed was a very strange “conversation.” I said something to the effect that I had nowhere else to change him and apologized (you know, that apologizing for one’s existence that we women do for no apparent reason). Then she just stood there, watching for a while. Um, what does this woman want? She’s staring at me change my son’s nappy? And then, as if she realized that standing there staring was odd, she started rambling about her kids and asked Bug if he is a boy or a girl. Sigh. We get this a lot.  He’s got longish, blond curls, big blue eyes and long eyelashes. They say he’s “pretty for a boy” and other inane statements to that effect. As weird and off-putting as the fact that the woman was *simply standing there, staring at me changing my child’s nappy*, I found the “are you a girl or a boy” question far more annoying.

Usually in those situations, I mumble that he’s a boy and try to avoid the person or line of conversation. Path of least resistence and all that. But, I’ve been thinking I shouldn’t. I tried broaching the subject with Bug last night. I told him that if someone asks him that, he should just say “Why does it matter?” Because, you know what? It doesn’t fucking matter! If you can’t tell what gender or sex a person is, then it doesn’t fucking matter! You can usually figure it out from context in the conversation or something … and, if you can’t figure it out that way, BIG FUCKING DEAL. It’s not important enough to blurt out that exceedingly annoying question. Way to give a kid a complex, for fuck’s sake. Dear child, what you have between your legs is The Most Important Thing About You! Well, I say “fuck off” to that!

It’s a hard one and I’m not really sure Bug understood the “why does it matter?” response suggestion and I doubt he’ll remember to use it. I’m not sure exactly how to handle this, to be honest. I just know that it annoys the hell out of me. I’m not trying to raise my children completely gender neutrally because I really don’t think that’s possible … However, I would like people to stop imposing their strange, rigid gender ideas on my kids. SO WHAT if he’s “pretty?” BOYS CAN BE PRETTY, DAMN IT! And don’t get me started on the “good thing he’s a boy” comments in regards to the scar on Cub’s forehead …

Add to all this my completely failed attempt to explain to Bug transexuality and the mechanics of why women and not men give birth and it becomes obvious that I’ve had a bit of a liberal parenting stumbling block this week. Ok, so four years old is probably a little early to try to get that complex (especially when I’m not exactly an expert about trans issues myself) but it came up in conversation so I took the opportunity! At least I tried, right? Right? *headdesk*

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