It started with the skinny jeans. They look awful on pretty much 90% of the population regardless of sex, body type or weight. Yet people still insist on wearing them. Why? I have no fucking clue. I mean, yeah, I can get the whole subculture identity thing, I suppose … but on this scale? It’s no longer just a subculture thing … it’s a revolting mainstream trend. Please, people, PUT THE SKINNY JEANS AWAY!!!! Better yet, burn them. They are not attractive … AT ALL. And here’s a tip for the boys: when you do the following to your skinny legged jeans, it does not give the impression that you have a huge schlong or that you are cool or even remotely attractive … it just makes you look like a tool:
Saggy skinny jeans makes you look like a tool
So, moving on from the skinny legged jeans we come to the full scale 80’s invasion. You’d have to be living under a rock not to notice as the 80’s slowly crept back into our world. First leggings, then capri, laced edged leggings … both paired with shorts; the hot pinks; then the bodysuits with snaps in the crotch … it just keeps getting worse and worse until I saw this in a shop window at the mall a few weeks ago:
Where's the fucking Dolorian?
Are you kidding me? Have I just stepped out of a Dolorian or something? WHAT YEAR IS IT? Come on, people! No one can honestly think this looks good? Did we learn nothing from all the cringing we did over what we wore in the 80’s/early 90’s? Obviously not. My theory: Only those too young to actually remember the fashion travesties of the 80’s and early 90’s think this shit is cool. In other words, only the damn kids. Yes, I am aware that I sound like a grumpy old woman and I DON’T CARE! Not only was I known to complain from time to time about what the kids were wearing when I *was* a kid, but at least I have enough sense not to be seen in public in a body suit and skinny jeans with a zip on the ankle again.
I’m telling you, if shoulder pads and boofy teased bangs (fringe) become standard attire again, I am going to barricade myself in my house and not come out until the insanity is over. What is the world coming to???
The Ausmerican 