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Posts Tagged ‘fangirl’

So, this is how I see it: Scarring your kids for life is inevitable. You might as well have fun doing it, yeah? So, it is with this in mind that The Geek and I may be guilty of the following stellar moments of extreme dorkiness (in no particular order):

1)  One night at the dinner table for reasons neither of us can remember, one of us quoted Bohemian Rhapsody. Then the other quoted the next line. Before we knew it, we were singing most of the main part of the song complete with Wayne’s World-esque head banging. Bug just sat and stared at us like we’d suddenly grown an extra head each … or like we were complete dorks.

2)  Having only just turned 5, sometimes Bug doesn’t pay much attention when he dresses himself and puts his pants on backwards. When this happens, The Geek and I often sing Jump by Kris Kross (complete with jumping, of course). Again, we are met with that “you just grew an extra head and/or are total dorks” look from Bug. He’ll be very practiced at that look by the time he gets to his teens when he will permanently have it glued to his face …

3)  The Geek started a habit of singing “I’m gonna tickle little <insert child’s name here>” to the tune of Cat’s “I’m gonna eat you, little fishy”* when about to tickle one of the kids. They still don’t know that it isn’t an original song by their father.

4)  We had risotto for dinner tonight. I spent an embarrassing amount of time attempting to teach Cub (2 years old) to clap and squeal “Risotto, risotto, risotto!” in reference to The Catherine Tate Show’s Christmas special in which David Tennant plays a trendy, effeminate Ghost of Christmas Present. ** He’s almost got it … we just need to work on the hand clapping.

5)  In response to Bug’s frequent declarations that “it’s not FAIR!” I have been known to quote “Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.”***

6)  Bug tells us that he’s “bored” or that things are “boring” when it is clear that “boredom” is not actually what he means. Example: He says he’s bored with eating when he probably really means that he’s full and doesn’t want to eat anymore. In response to this, I often reply: “You say that word so much. I don’t think it means what you think it means.” ***

7)  The boys have a book about a boy and an octopus that he saves from a fisherman’s net. In the end are some facts about octopi. Octopi, it seems, have three hearts. The following exchange was quite common in our household when the book was first introduced: The Geek: “How many hearts does the Doctor have?” Bug: “Two!” The Geek: “How many hearts does an octopus have?” Bug: “Three!”

8)  Bug has a habit of saying “mummy!” in exactly the same tone and inflection as the kid from The Empty Child episode of Doctor Who. It’s freaky and even The Geek noticed it despite the fact that he is not a huge fan of Doctor Who and rarely watches it with me. We have been known to respond to Bug’s whines of “mummy!” with “Go to your room!” followed immediately by hysterical giggling. Bug, as you might have guessed, generally responds by giving us that Look I have been describing.

Now it’s your turn. Confess your dorky/nerdy parenting moments to me!

Edited to add: I should clarify that the dorky/nerdy parenting moments need not be only from the perspective of the parent. Did your parents do anything to you that made you make the face that Bug is now so practiced at? 🙂

*   If you don’t know this is from Red Dwarf then … well, what the hell are you doing reading my blog? Go educate yourself, damn it! 😉

**  Watch the clip here:

*** I’m assuming everyone recognizes The Princess Bride references here. I mean, doesn’t everyone have that movie memorized? IF you don’t then, as with Red Dwarf, what are you doing wasting time reading my blog when you could be watching The Princess Bride?

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It’s that time of year again. Festivus season! In honour of this most sacred holiday, let us gather around the Festivus pole (remember, no tinsel … tinsel is too distracting) and air our grievances for the year.  So, without further ado, here are my grievances in no particular order:

1.) To the Douchebags:  A lot of douchebags have irritated me this year from Kanye West to Sen. John McCain to your average internet troll fuckwit on Twitter (and don’t forget Russell T. Davies). You know what? Being a douchebag is really bad. You shouldn’t do it. So, fuck off, douchebags!

2.) To my friends in the US who  haven’t come to visit me nor have they paid for my ticket to go visit them: I think this is very inconsiderate of them and it should be rectified immediately. What’s that? They don’t have any money? Pfft, they can always sell their house/worldly possesions/first born children to raise the funds! Do I have to think of everything for you people?

3.)  To my US student loan company who’ve made repayment from my country of residence impossible: You’ve got to be kidding me! This is so ridiculous, it’s comical! News flash: The rest of the world exists, they have their own currency and banks and *sometimes* Americans even choose to live there!  International transactions involving money happen all the time. Get with the program! (The full story is really quite ridiculous & could make an entire post but I haven’t decided whether it is wise to do that.)

4.) To my house that doesn’t clean itself: You’re a pig sty. Pick up your game. It’s 2010 and will soon be 2011 … haven’t we invented self cleaning houses yet???

5.) To Dora and Diego:  Dora The Explorer and Go! Diego Go! are two are the most obnoxious tv shows ever to grace the airwaves. That fucking map can burn in hell … if only that would shut it up. And, Diego, eggs are fucking eggs! They are not “baby eggs.” There is often a baby inside them that will more than likely hatch out of said egg but the egg itself is not a fucking “baby egg!”  The sooner Dora falls over a cliff or something eats Diego, the better.

6.) To the world: You’re not as small as the interwebz makes you seem. Damn you, world! Don’t you know that I should be able to just walk over to all my friend’s houses?

7.) To Perth Drivers: Seriously, people, learn how to merge. That’s all I’m sayin’. (Ok, that’s probably not all but I realise that you can’t handle too much at once so let’s just stick with learning to merge for now.)

8.) To anyone who addresses correspondance to me as “Mrs <Husband’s name or first initial> <Husband’s surname>” or to both of us as “Mr. & Mrs <Husband’s name or first initial> <Husband’s surname> : You’re a dinosour who clearly has not been advised of the progression of time. It is now 2010. It will be 2011 soon. A woman is not the property of her husband regardless of whether she chooses (as I did) to change her name after legal marriage (I say legal since marriage is not soley a religious institution). I’ll pause to let you process that new and shocking information. Ok so far? If not, I don’t care. Just to clarify: MY NAME IS NOT <Husband’s name>! My first name is Kareena. I say “first name” for a reason, by the way. It is not a “Christian name” because I am not Christian. Get it? Probably not. Until you do get it, please do not send me anything via post. In fact, don’t talk to me. You’re too stupid.

9.) To the company who I pay to deliver organic fruit and vegetables every Wednesday: You fail. You’re supposed to deliver on Wednesday afternoon, usually getting the box to me at around 2ish. Yet far too many times you have waited until 4PM to text me to tell me that the person who normally does the delivery is on holiday or whatever and cannot bring it. You then send it via courier the next day. The courier often doesn’t arrive until 3PM. Thursday is usually the only day I have to do the rest of the weekly grocery shopping and I cannot do it unless I know what fruit and vegetables I have. You can shove your courier up your collective arses. I’m finding a new company to provide me with organic produce in the new year.

10.) To the creators of Single Father: Not only did you create a script that was almost really good but kind of  not due to strangeness, odd format and a totally inappropriate soundtrack but you missed two if not three prime opportunities to show us David Tennant naked … or at least more naked than you did show him. I mean, really, if the BBC could produce something that included Christopher Eccleston completely nude* this year then I think they could have done us fangirls the same service with Tennant. **


 

*    Not that I’m complaining about getting the full monty from Eccleston. Not. At. All.

** Really, I only put this grievance in because I had 9 already and I thought that an even 10 would look better. Oh, ten and Tennant … hahahhaha … geddit? No, unless you’re as hopeless a Doctor Who nerd as me, you probably won’t. Sigh… Also? I just proved once again that everything can be brought back to a Doctor Who reference. Everything. Even a post based on an episode of Seinfeld. It’s a Festivus miracle!

And now, as Festivus rolls on, we come to the Feats of Strength!

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Oh, hai thar! So, it’s been something like three months since I blogged last. Um, sorry? Things have been Happening, Writers Block has been had, Time has been Occupied, Dreads have been Shaved, etc. I’d promise to be better about blogging more regularly but … well, I probably wouldn’t keep that promise. We’ll see, hey?

Anyway, I don’t want to ramble on about how I haven’t been blogging for a while. I want to blog about what I wanted to blog about! Which is my awesome costume for the Bug’s school’s quiz night a bit over a month ago. We only just got around to uploading the pictures so I figured now’s the time to show off. 🙂 Warning: The post contains Extreme Dorkiness (in case you hadn’t picked up on the reference in the title).

The school held a fund raising Rock Quiz night. I had planned to go and then thought we couldn’t go due to lack of a babysitter. As it turned out, friends had already bought tickets for us to make up a whole table. I felt bad so The Geek and I decided that I should go while he stayed home with the kids. This worked out because he’s not social and I am. I’d get an evening out and he wouldn’t have to put up with a quiz night. Win win. Then a friend reminded me TWO DAYS before the damn quiz that it was fancy dress! The theme was Rock Star or Super Hero. I panicked and the first thing that came to my extremely dorky mind was the following:

I was the twelfth regeneration of the Doctor! He regenerated as a woman. This is how I see it: The Doctor  is a super hero. I had two days to come up with a costume. I had nada and not a big budget with which to go renting costumes. The twelfth regeneration of the Doctor hasn’t happened yet. Therefore, I could have free reign to create my own costume! Easy! Also FUN!

I immediately started brainstorming via Twitter because that’s where all the other Doctor Who dorks that I know and love hang out. It didn’t take long for The Awesomest Couple In the Universe* offered to loan me the coolest purple trench coat ever** plus a sonic screwdriver and psychic paper.***

An important aspect of the costume, of course, is the stripey socks. This is because stripey socks are cool.**** Another important aspect of the costume is the contents of the pockets because I may be a dork but at least I attend to the details when crafting a Doctor costume. In the pockets of the awesome purple trench coat were: one sonic screwdriver (in case I needed to, you know, resonate concrete or something), one psychic paper, and one TARDIS key. I stopped short of bringing a banana***** with me because that probably would be going a little too far.

In the end, no one asked what I was and probably no one even knew I was in costume. BUT THAT DOESN’T MATTER! What matters is that *I* knew I was the Doctor and I made sure I was well prepared to save the world that night if need be … perhaps even pick up a clingy blond or short skirted ginger companion along the way … Or perhaps even a 51st century flirt with a thing for guns. Yeah, that would have been brilliant!

You are probably saying that you think I am a hopeless geeky dork right now. To that I really can only say “Quite right, too!”

*       Possibly more than one universe.

**    Because the Doctor always has a distinctive coat. And, by “distinctive,” I mean anywhere from who cares about the coat, that scarf is made of WIN! *cough* Four *cough* to utterly omgwhatwereyouthinking hideous *cough* Six *cough* to cool with awesome sauce *cough* Nine *cough* to a little bit Janis Joplin *cough* Ten *cough.* Did I *cough* too many times there? *cough* Perhaps *cough.*

***  Because the Doctor is someone who looks at a screwdriver and thinks “That could be a little more sonic.”

**** Cooler, even, than bow ties or fezzes.

***** Thus breaking the Doctor’s own rule to always bring a banana to a party.

Edited to fix my failure to give credit where credit is due. The original idea of the twelfth regeneration of the Doctor being female was shamelessly stolen from the female half of the Awesomest Couple in the Universe. Read the first installment of her amusing and as yet unfinished (FINISH IT, SHINY!) fanfic here. I, of course, took my own liberties with the original idea to make it my own.

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Created by rengeek on Live Journal

I think it’s already been established that I am a geek, nerd, dork, etc. Hopelessly so. My last three Facebook profile pictures alone will attest to that (the most recent of which is featured above). If you need further proof, allow me to share with you a common conversation between myself or The Geek and Bug after reading his octopus book to him:

Me: How many hearts does The Doctor have?

Bug: TWO! (holds up two fingers)

Me: How many hearts does an octopus have?

Bug: THREE! (holds up three fingers)

To be fair, The Geek taught him that one, not me. And The Geek doesn’t even like Doctor Who! Of course there is also the proud tear of happiness I always shed when Bug says he wants to dance with John Barrowman.  And, do I have to mention my TARDIS ringtone or the fact that Ten announces “Allons-y” to me every time I get a text message (Why yes, that is David Tennant in my handbag!)?

Anyway, you get the point about me being hopeless. You think it can’t get much worse, right? Wrong. Yesterday, I both crossed The Dork Line and brought Arwyn over with me. Many of you who know us on Twitter are probably thinking that that happened a loooooong time ago. But no, I’m telling you, it got worse. I convinced her to actually write a drabble of fanfic (previously we both have read FAR TOO MUCH fanfic but have never been dorky enough to actually write any) and she, in turn enabled me into CREATING A MACRO OF MY OWN.

Exhibit A: The drabble
Exhibit B: The macro

So, there you have it, people. A mutually enabling relationship + Doctor Who = insufferable dorkiness. I thought it would never go this far … yet it has. And I’m ok with that. 🙂

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In case you haven’t noticed, I have dreads. I got them for my 30th birthday about 7 months ago and I love them. They are the best hairstyle I’ve ever had. I had them installed by the Weird Sistas.  They create the dreads with a teensy tiny crochet hook and just weave the hair into a rope. No back-combing and no wax. It’s pretty awesome.

It had been a while since my last maintenance session (before Christmas, I think) and my dreads were feeling F-E-R-A-L. They were marrying up and frazzled and generally just looking like shit. It got so bad that I contemplated shaving my head. Luckily I stopped myself and made an appointment for a maintenance session. I like to schedule these sessions on a Saturday so I can leave the kids with The Geek and have a few hours to myself. The Dread Bunker is funky, cool and located on High St in Fremantle … which is extra funky and cool. It’s always nice to catch up with Nazy and Bonn. I didn’t get to talk to Bonn much today but Nazy did most of the work on my hair so I got to have a good natter with her.  We chatted about social media and our kids and I even helped her download a Twitter application for her iPhone because everyone should be constantly connected to Twitter like me! No, I am not addicted to Twitter. Not at all. No way. I did not spend a large amount of the time at The Bunker tweeting and reading tweets. No, I didn’t! *cough*

Did I mention that while I was getting my hair done I received a “happy-making” photo that is likely going to become my phone wallpaper? (Not that I was spending too much time on Twitter, of course.) What’s a blog post about a good day off without a picture of David Tennant or some other vaguely (or not so vaguely) Who related referencing? Besides, that, what’s a blog post about a good day off without a picture of an arse of some description? This time, just to be extra fun, it’s a picture of DAVID TENNANT’S ARSE ! (Ok, so it’s mostly his hip … but what a sexeh hip!) That definitely tops the picture my own arse from last time. 😀

After my dreads were tamed and smelling divine (they have the awesomest salt and essential oil spray to finish the job off), I wandered off to the Fremantle Markets and had an organic, chocolate filled donut. All in all, it was a good day. I wish I could afford to do it more often. My head feels and smells awesome and I feel relaxed and refreshed. I also smell extra yummy which is lovely, too.

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In case you have been living under a rock, there was a rebirth over the weekend. No, not the zombie messiah known as Jesus, but the  Time Lord known as The Doctor! Yes, that’s right, Eleven made his debut and it was … pretty damned awesome if you ask me.

It’s true that Matt Smith is making me squirm and break out into fits of innappropriate giggles due to his strong resemblance to someone I know and, once upon a time, knew well. It’s just weird to “see” a friend in the TARDIS, ok? 🙂 Especially considering my penchant for reading Doctor Who fanfic smut, this is doing strange things to my brain. I will tell you one thing for sure, though: I will NOT, under any circumstances, be reading any Eleven themed smut. No way. NO! Oh god, that’s just … No. It’s just No. That’s what it is.

But my personal mental issues aside, Matt Smith is pretty brilliant as the Doctor. The only thing I can say against him is that he’s not Ten. Oh, Ten, how I miss thee. The silly grin, the babbling, the suit, the Converse sneakers, the hotness, the habit of exclaiming “Allons-y!” Ten, you were awesome and will be missed sorely. But, I always have smutty Ten/Rose (and sometimes a third party) fanfic, I suppose … What? I didn’t say I would be giving up Who smut entirely! That’s crazy talk!

This new season also heralds in a new era for Who. Stephen Moffat is taking over as head honcho from Russel T. Douchebag … er, I mean Davies. I have to say, this makes me very happy. Russel T. Davies did a lot, I’ll give him that. He revived Who in the first place and created a lot of awesome (Captain Jack Harkness is an obvious example). But, there is no denying that he is a douchebag more interested in money than turning out quality TV. He sold his soul to the devil and I hate him for it. Stephen Moffat, on the other hand, wrote Blink which is one of my all time favourite episodes of ANY TV show, hands down, let alone just for the Doctor Who category. The man has, so far, turned out all sorts of awesome and is a win in my book. In fact, I just did a search for info on Stephen Moffat and, it turns out that he’s written just about every one of my favourite Who episodes! Including The Empty Child/Doctor Dances episodes where Captain Jack is introduced. I am still pretty sure RTD is responsible for Jack but, wow, Moffat just got cooler in my eyes.  I know it’s a little early to say this (because he could turn out to be just as big a douche as RTD) but I find myself wishing he had been in charge when we had Ten. Oh, the coolness Moffat + Ten could have created …

Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is that I’m excited about the new season of Who and, if you haven’t seen the newest episode then you should. You really, really should. Because it is awesome. Good luck, Matt and Stephen, I’m sure this season will prove to be brilliant AND fantastic and whatever word it is that Eleven chooses to be his favourite adjective. Allons-y!*

*  I couldn’t resist. Yes, I am a nerd. You just read an entire blog post about Doctor Who which probably means you are a nerd, too. So there!

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Today was awesome and I have pictures to prove it. It was the mental health day I needed and I feel like sharing.

Things didn’t start out so great. Cub woke me up with a ginormous leaky poo that required a massive clean up. The kids were grumpy and climbing me. they were generally being wibbly, wobbly kiddy widdy things (see what I did thar?) and I wasn’t in the greatest of moods, either. Then I realized that today was Perth Upmarket day. Perth Upmarket is an artisan/fashion/nifty handmade stuff market that is held … monthly, I think. Anyway, I had never been before and wanted to check it out.

We fed the kids lunch and I escaped a little after noon. Things were already looking up in the car as I cranked up the Ani DiFranco music to a point just under the bursting point of the car speakers and proceeded to sing & car dance like the dreadlocked, folk music loving weirdie I am:

The upmarket held on the gorgeous campus of University of Western Australia and it was a gloriously sunny day.

I walked in wondered through the stalls a bit. Almost immediately, I found this awesome bag: I’ve been looking for a decent bag for myself that is not intended to carry nappies for a while so this was a good purchase.

Then, I found a friend and had a good chat. Unfortunately, I didn’t take her picture and she had to go back to the stall she was helping to run for the Sun Fair (all things eco/energy saving). After she left, I wondered around some more and then bought myself the most delicious, decadent triple chocolate brownie ever:

This picture doesn’t do it justice. It was divine.

After that, I wandered a round a bit and took some pictures of the gorgeous campus.

Then I sat down and enjoyed the serenity (ah, the serenity). I also had some good fun on Twitter* when I may or may not have sent Arwyn this picture of my butt:

It’s probably too complicated (or too ridiculous) to explain. You sort of had to be there. But she complimented my … uh, dreadlocks! At some point I admired some photos that were being sent around** …. Mmmmm ….  ……….

*wipes drool from chin* Um, where was I? Oh yeah, my day … my day …

I took some more photos of the campus because it’s gorgeous and I wanted to share.

I love these trees. They are so cool. They look like something out of a Tolkein book.

I also love the gorgeous buildings and creeping plants and just the whole damned campus. Why did I go to the ugly uni instead of UWA?

Eventually, I went home (taking a detour to run a few errands to prolong my time in the car with blasting loud Ani DiFranco CDs).  The best part is that despite kids climbing me when I got home and the frustration of attempting to get these photos from my phone to my blog, I’m still in a pretty good mood. The boys and I even cranked up some White Stripes and danced like loons in the living room before they went to bed. I think I need more sunny days on my own to do as I please. I think they agree with me, don’t you?

*   Remember the days when you couldn’t carry the interwebz around with you on your phone? Those were dark, horrible times and we should never speak of them again. *hugs her Android phone*

**  If you don’t know who this is, I pity you, I really, really do.*hands you a banana*

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